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On February 11th, 2019, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. This poem was adapted and developed, in collaboration with my mother, Josey Cooper, from my initial writing describing my experience in the moments, weeks, and months that followed. From this poem, I also produced an audio recording, and choreographed and performed it as a spoken-word dance solo. View the original "Cancer Reflections" > That word, I never imagined hearing that word applied to me. Hoping the avoided thought would keep it distant from me. Then suddenly, as I busily pursued my dreams, the skies shifted. A massive and unusual snow storm Quietly settled in. It trapped our cars on icy hills; It trapped us in our houses, With diminishing supplies, It trapped us with our thoughts, With ourselves. Setting an ominous backdrop. And on February 11th, 2019, that word, cancer, Entered. I was diagnosed with breast cancer. There was one unlucky aunt, died at 49, Leaving behind two young children. But, I had many of these routine exams, Ending always in the same benign conclusion, And reinforcing my blind confidence. Avoidance prevailed, month after month, Almost a year later A ghostly urgency prodded me Toward a long overdue checkup. This exam was different – A new cyst joined the family. Didn’t look like the others. It was hiding, reclusive. “Invasive ductal carcinoma,” Said the pathologist. I was still hearing benign cyst, like always, And not ready to hear anything else. I asked the doctor, “What’s that?” “Cancer,” she struggled to say. In that moment The darkest chaos descended upon me, Closing in like the weather. Unpredictable like the weather These death cells inside of me How fast are they multiplying? Where would they roam? Would they incinerate my dreams? My life? Looking out at the confining snow, I began to see the apocalypse. Reality shifted. How long had I moved Through life’s hustles and pursuits, Ignorant of cancer growing inside of me? My body absorbs shock and bounces back! Doesn’t it? Suddenly . . . I realized myself as a completely vulnerable being, In the process of slowly, or perhaps not slowly, Being destroyed from within. What allowed this mutation? Suddenly . . . I was immersed in a script I was completely unprepared for – Surgery, radiation, chemotherapy, long-term medication, Or all of those. I struggled, but accepted the first surgery. Then, I was told I needed a second one, As soon as possible. I didn’t imagine this could happen. My mind orbited in a constant state of uncertainty, Uncertainty that always existed; But now, I am shifted to a heightened state of awareness And appreciation. Suddenly . . . I find myself noticing all the colors and textures! Suddenly . . . I consciously and actively choose life, Whether for ten more minutes, Or for ten more years. When cancer falls upon you, All previous anxieties and sorrows Become small pebbles. Just as suddenly . . . The survivors entered And shared their wisdom. “In many ways it is a gift”. “You’ll never have another bad day again.” “You are about to discover How much love there is in your community”. And I did! I wanted to capture it in a bottle, And save the world with it. Seriously! Why don’t we call Or text a few people, weekly? Ask them how things are going. Would that be so weird? Over and over I hear that I am strong.
Sometimes that feels like I don’t qualify for concern. I have never been more vulnerable; And I am valuing the honesty of that more every day. People refer to cancer as something you fight. For me, it is something I try to make peace with. There is no light without darkness, Even (or maybe especially) within us. The feeling of the knife lingers, And the fear of what may come. But I have been given the gift of today. Why am I in a good mood? Because I woke up today, And I’m standing here Alive and whole.
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In February 2019, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. In March, after two surgeries, I was introduced to the Living Pink Breast Cancer Gala and Pageant, and invited to participate. Below is the bio submitted for this pageant: Photo by Al Martinez Born in Santa Fe, New Mexico, Suzanna relocated to the Pacific Northwest at the age of six. Overcoming a difficult childhood, she has walked a path of self-actualization ever since. Earning degrees in theatre, political science, and public management, she has spent much of her life working administrative jobs and strengthening organizations while maintaining her artistic practice of dance and movement and raising her daughter. Through dance and movement she has helped heal many inhibitions from youth. Her journey has included Middle Eastern, African, jazz, contemporary, ballet, hip hop, fitness routines, and more, ultimately leading to a career of teaching, performing, and event production. Her global travels have encompassed Africa, Europe, North America, and Brazil, for work, art, education, and family. While working in Niger, for example, she assisted villages with the use of theatre as a tool for education and community decision-making. She has always had an innate ability to see how all things unify and intersect, yet only recently has she begun to see unification within her own multifaceted life, with the founding of her belly dance fitness startup, RakasaFit, in which she harnesses the power of belly dance as a universal movement practice to bring about health, healing, feminine strength, and community. Last February, during the snowstorm, Suzanna was diagnosed with breast cancer. This has been a profound turning point, an opportunity to consciously and actively choose life, whether for 10 more minutes or 10 more years (or why not make it 100?). She now invests in her mental fitness as well as her physical fitness. She has never entered a pageant and has rarely enrolled in competitions of any kind, thus she’s received relatively few awards in her life. If this is the occasion, she will be profoundly honored. If not, she is equally honored to be involved in helping as many women as possible get access to early detection and treatment of breast cancer, so that they too will have the opportunity to choose a meaningful life. Hello hello to my belly dance community! Some of you may have heard the buzz about this RakasaFit thing I’ve been up to. For me, belly dance has always been a universal movement practice that brings physical, emotional, mental, and social well-being. At the same time, in recent years I’ve also returned to practicing other forms of fitness and dance. This has yielded great results and ignited my exploration into how other core fitness elements can strengthen belly dance movement quality! RakasaFit is a deep core fitness workout that incorporates the essentials of belly dance, and I’ve spent a lot of time and care researching and developing it. What is your weekly fitness routine? Fitness is vital for all of us. As dancers, our bodies are an artistic instrument that must be well tuned. For belly dancers, a good workout that includes belly dance is probably ideal, and probably most fun! All other dance and movement arts require routine practice of the basics, whether novice or professional. We too must drill the essential moves while fully extending through the spine to maintain our belly dance movement quality. Thus, RakasaFit serves as a foundation for our many diverse artistic applications! But more, this integration with other core fitness elements also serves to attract fitness enthusiasts of all kinds to belly dance. It becomes a funnel for new interest and a source of new students for all of our classes! RakasaFit provides a consistent format that enables people to develop movement proficiency, and a gateway to explore the many artistic avenues of belly dance. As many of you know, I’ve taught these artistic avenues for over a decade. However, with my focus on RakasaFit, I am now offering this only on an occasional basis through special workshops and private lessons. So hey, TEACHERS, for the most part I am referring those who want to explore belly dance further to all of you!! Sound like a win-win? Currently, classes take place at a lovely studio inside Alive Juice Bar in Shoreline at 20226 Ballinger Way, and sometimes at Mercer Island Community Center. Both locations are easy to access from Seattle and the eastside, and have free parking. Check the RakasaFit page for dates and how to register. Thank you for your continued support, let me know if you have questions, and I hope to see you in class! Dear Community, Last December we announced Teatro ZinZanni as the new home of Belly Dance Off in 2017. After six years of touring, this was a brilliant occurrence! The unique multidimensional configuration of this event had always made finding the right venue a challenge. The stars had aligned. The opportunity for dancers had never been greater – featured in Teatro ZinZanni’s prestigious venue with a live band, captured by professional photo and video, and receiving excellent feedback to accelerate one’s talent while building connections with new audiences. We have been hard at work reconfiguring the new two-show format. The web pages are up-to-date and we are completely ready to accept 2017 performer applications. But the story has taken a turn. In January of this year, the sale of the land that Teatro ZinZanni has called home for 10 years was finalized. We were hopeful this would not affect our 2017 Belly Dance Off show dates; unfortunately, it has. Teatro ZinZanni has been actively working to find a solution, putting in their own bid to purchase the land and subsequent negotiations to remain on the site during the new owner’s permitting process, But Teatro ZinZanni now finds itself searching for a new home. Teatro ZinZanni is the extraordinary entity it is today because it has persevered through such challenges before, and will do so again. Similarly, in the six years of Belly Dance Off, these challenges are nothing new. We exist today only because we’ve blazed through times exactly like these. Sometimes though, it’s time to surrender, look at the sky, and change course. Belly Dance Off will continue to manifest in some form, place, and time. Perhaps one big “Belly Dance Off Champion Hall of Fame” show later in 2017, featuring all champions…perhaps. And likely we’ll be back on track with the new competition format in 2018. We’re also exploring television distribution. Now hey, wouldn’t that be exciting!
Meanwhile, me and the S&F production team have been working hard on a new stage show, “Cinderella – A Global Story,” an original live music world dance theatre production exploring the many versions of the Cinderella story across the globe. We’ll be rolling out details very soon, and you’re all invited to our free show this summer! So be sure to stay connected with all that and the future of Belly Dance Off, and more, by joining the email list HERE. You can also follow planetsuzanna on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. The many epic, historic, and gorgeous moments of Belly Dance Off will continue to be posted on the Facebook page, as well as updates when they occur. Enjoy! And thank you again for your essential support. – Suzanna Davis, Artistic Director, Host, and Founder Belly Dance Off at Teatro ZinZanni, picturing Suzanna as host with live music by House of Tarab Dear Community, Thank you for your ongoing and vital support of this innovative production. In a world of changes and against so many odds, this event has not only sustained and persevered, but evolved beyond imagination! Since founding in 2010, BELLY DANCE OFF has held 23 events in 8 venues across 3 cities, with over 8 spotlights in local and international media. Each event has featured a different mix of dancers, musicians, and judges, with a relentless focus on theatrical quality, entertainment, and widespread audience engagement. I thank the incredible community for championing the spirit of this event and supporting these accomplishments! Through your many forms of participation – whether backstage or onstage, as a competitor, judge, sponsor, or more – you have kept the flame alive and strong. It is now time to take the next step in our evolution. Our years of touring throughout different venues have been an incredible opportunity to hone event management skills and expand ties across communities. Yet experiencing this show in Teatro ZinZanni Seattle in 2016, we’ve witnessed the core vision truly come life – as if it were made for the place! Thus, Teatro ZinZanni will be the new home of BELLY DANCE OFF in 2017!!! In addition, there are a number of changes to the format. Since 2010, BELLY DANCE OFF has been held 4-5 times each year – 3-4 preliminary rounds plus a championship. Beginning in 2017, BELLY DANCE OFF will take place in 2 events per year – one Open round plus a Championship. The Belly Dance Off Open will take place on June 17th with six competitors. From this event, three dancers will advance to the Championship on October 21st, and compete for the trophy, title, and other prizes. With this consolidation, there are several notable format changes:
With these changes, the distinguishing values of BELLY DANCE OFF are nonetheless preserved – participating dancers can still grow and hone their talents in response to judge feedback between the events, we maintain focus on audience engagement, and we are still 100% live music! Consolidating to two events per year also means even greater focus on quality. Additional enhancements are on the horizon and exciting possibilities are in store! Thank you for growing with us. And more, thank you for supporting artistic innovation! We look forward to many phenomenal years ahead. – Suzanna Davis Artistic Director, Host, and Founder A response to the Pacific Northwest belly dance community (and musicians too!)...
I am exhausted but cannot sleep. A most incredible thing happened last night! Without exaggeration I can say it has indelibly changed me, altered my reality forever, and elevated my sense of what is possible. It’s the sort of thing that happens only in one’s fantasies. I had just finished another epic performance with MB Orchestra, whose music has powered so much of my learning and inspiration for over a decade – I know that’s true for many of us. Just before reaching my changing space, sweaty and utterly spent, I was intercepted by the lovely Angie Thompson ("Fateen" of Rishi’s Egypt), who informed me I was not to change yet and that I needed to return to the stage. One can only imagine how dazed and disoriented I was. I was met with a stunning bouquet of roses and carefully prepared speech by Rishi, explaining that the belly dance community (and musicians too!) had come together to give me a generous gift in appreciation of my years of hard work and dedication to them, both individually and collectively. I was presented with a 2-night stay plus dining and spa services at Rosario Resort and Spa on Orcas Island! Not to mention some cash to cover ferry costs and transportation. Just like that, an entire community has joined together and presented me with the most glorious demonstration of gratitude and love! I was and still am profoundly stunned! As exquisite beyond galactic proportion as this gift is, what has me changed forever is the act itself and the incredible words said and written by Rishi and all of you. As I’ve prepared this response, I felt sure I would never find words to express what this has done for me. Love. Pure L-O-V-E love is what you’ve given me. The most powerful force in the universe. Think about that – the MOST powerful – more powerful than the many negative forces that are making us feel powerless and hopeless. Your gift of love cleanses me of all negative elements and background noise I carry from the past. How can I thank you?? In my years of investment, building events and experiences that bring people together, I never imagined anything like this taking place. It seems unimaginable still... I love you too!! And then there’s trust. Your trust in me as a colleague and friend, fertilizing my efforts by participating, engaging, supporting, and attending, is what has brought all of this about. Seriously, the community we enjoy today is because of each of you. And the reward of seeing the fruits of my labor – a growing audience, wider appreciation of live music when paired with dance, local performers elevating their talents and being celebrated – has been more than enough gratitude and infinitely gratifying. Moreover, through your participation I have personally learned so much about dance and entertainment, about organization, management, and leadership, and about myself and my own life purpose. Keep growing and creating, and bringing the truest YOU to your life every day. That is what you’ve reinforced in me with this incredibly act of kindness. Whatever residual doubts and negative baggage I’ve been dragging around now must go. I’m profoundly inspired to step up and do better, and with more clarity. The journey is terrifying at times. Thoughts of “How did I get here?” and “What on earth do I think I’m doing?” have paralyzed me on occasion. As this fear becomes more familiar, I’m learning to just get out of the way of myself. Thank you everyone for this guidance that most likely you aren’t aware you’ve given me, of showing me how to be the truest form of me. I can’t ask for greater! I must confess, part of me wishes I could reallocate your generous contributions toward 2016 production costs. Instead, I will accept your gracious gift and go cleanse, purify, and refresh myself, so I will return stronger and able to bring it to the next level. I can’t thank you enough for this!!! I also wish I could somehow redirect this gesture back out to so many among us that also need to be acknowledged and thanked. But I’m hoping that somehow just witnessing this kind act coming to life will bring about assurance to everyone that gratitude is in abundance. I’ve just found out that I’m being thanked in people’s thoughts during times when I was sure no one cared. That means you are too. Just think of the possibilities of what will come when we all give more of this thing called love. My theatre professors used to advise writing down all initial impressions immediately upon reading or watching a play. These initial impressions would soon be forgotten with familiarity, and were key to knowing what to highlight for the audience. Thus, I note my initial impressions of Brazil, and in particular of São Paulo and a nearby small town Itanhaém. Just a snapshot perspective that is uniquely mine, and will surely become better informed with time. During the 11 hour flight from LA while approaching Brazil, I spotted Senegal, West Africa on the flight map, just across the Atlantic – the furthest from Seattle I’d been until now. And still more than 5 hours before we’d arrive in São Paulo on the other side of the equator. The world is massive! And so is São Paulo, a megacity of 17 million people. On arrival, passing through the custodial gates of immigration we were suddenly surrounded by a duty free mall on the scale of a Vegas hotel. My mind reeling, I grabbed a couple more pairs of much needed Victoria’s Secret underwear. As we drove to our boutique hotel, it seemed just about every urban surface was decorated with very elaborate graffiti art. Instead of a few logical turns off a freeway exit, it took many tortuous twists through narrow streets to get to our destination, a beautiful modern room at Hotel Mercure, a three-star hotel which had been through a recent remodel. From a local perspective, everything in São Paulo is expensive. But with dollars, everything is currently affordable, and you get great value for what you pay. Much of the city looks just like Cairo to me, minus the Arabic, but including the layer of smog. Are all megacities using the same manual for urban planning? Perhaps the same investors? In an attempt to address the extreme traffic congestion of São Paulo, drivers are assigned one day per week in which their cars are not allowed on the road. Having traveled to many places, what is absolutely exceptional about Brazil is the hospitality, warmth, and sense of friendship immediately established. I’m told São Paulo is on the cooler end of this compared to elsewhere in Brazil, such as the north. However, I can’t imagine how humans could be any warmer! Greeting those you encounter immediately is mandatory. And unless you’re passing right through, this exchange will quickly erupt into a multithread conversation and gestures of kindness. Gift giving seems standard practice between guests and hosts, a delightful practice I hope to adopt. I am convinced this Brazilian social abundance would do wonders for the US. We are in love with their culture in all other ways, so why not? What if saying “hi, how are you” to every neighbor, store clerk, or person standing beside us at a bus stop were so second nature it would appear abnormal and disconcerting if it didn’t occur? I’m currently reading “The Tipping Point” by Malcom Gladwell, wherein he refers to the Power of Context to explain how such minor, seemingly trivial adjustments trigger sweeping changes in social structures. This may be just the antidote for Seattle’s rapid structural transformation and population growth. Not that I’ve ever been any shining example myself. I’m trying to imagine, how will I get past the inhibiting strange glances in response? Turn on a TV in Brazil and see no thin thighs. All women (of any race) have big strong muscular thunder thighs and butts, and look spectacular! For the first time ever I felt represented by media. Also, perhaps for the first time ever, my hair has volume! Ironically, this is exactly what most Brazilian girls struggle to get rid of with the Brazilian blowout. The coffee, on the other hand, is never big. Served as shots of espresso, it is much stronger. Order a “long” coffee and you’ll get a bit more. But if you’re an addict like me, you’ll still need several. If I thought the cheese was incredible in France, I just met its rival. Cheese is in, on, or with just about everything, and the pizza is king of them all. There’s no end to what I could write about all food in Brazil. The banana jam. The feijoada. The many tropical fruits. I’m making a vow to myself to take better care of how I eat when back in the US. On the other hand, everything you’ve heard about the extreme income inequality is true. However, compared to similar environments I’ve traveled, kindness and graciousness seem to prevail over manipulating tourists for financial gain. I’m sure it happens, but I’m used to it being relentless. This makes a big difference. But the dark side of income (and education) inequality in Brazil is violence. Carjacking is common, and significantly more likely to occur when cars are stopped in traffic, which is often. Knowing precisely the route you’ll drive is also vital, particularly in neighborhoods bordering slums, which appear in random patches among more moderate to lower income neighborhoods. One wrong turn down the wrong street could change destiny. And it’s easy to do with so many one-ways. Much of this tension has subdued since arriving in the quaint rustic beach town of Itanhaém, the second oldest town of Brazil. Nearby the artist house in which I stay is a huge boulder formation said to have been used as a bed by the first Portuguese priest who founded the town. Not sure if that is folklore, but based on the number of condoms tossed on the other side of the pathway, it is a bed indeed. Gazing out to the ocean you spot a few nearby islands. One of them is the famous but forbidden Snake Island, with the highest concentration of deadly snakes in the world, apparently discovered the hard way by a lighthouse operator and his family in the 1920s. Inside this lovely town is one of the oldest churches in South America, Convent of Nossa Senhora da Conceicao, built 483 years ago by enslaved natives of Brazil, those peaceful inhabitants that lived here long before any Europeans arrived. The statues of the saints were carefully fashioned to appear as those traditionally made of ceramic, but instead constructed of carved wood and hallowed on the inside in order to surreptitiously transport gold to Europe. I didn’t mean this to turn into a lesson on history and culture. In truth, the caipirinha and fresh catch of shrimp squeezed with lime are already becoming my most prominent memories. But history and culture are of intrinsic interest to me, so I suppose this focus was inevitable. You may be wondering, where is the dance? Yes, there has been samba and belly dance. In fact the workshop I took in Seattle with Robert Luu on Zouk just weeks prior to this trip came in exceedingly handy with partner dancing! And it seems I am summoned to perform a belly dance show this evening. But with this geographic distance it’s been important to also accept distance from my creative work, to cleanse and refresh mind, body, and soul.
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